Lighter than Life

I'm a 20-year-old girl on my way to where I want to be in life. In August 2012 I started my studies in the line I've always dreamed of. After these four years of studies I'll finally be the professional I always wanted to be. Now I'm ready to fight to become the woman I've always wished to be.

A fitspo-thinspo-lifestyle blog about my struggle throughout my studies

February 26th 2013
HW: 152lbs (~69kg)

GW1: 135lbs (~61kg) (September 11th)
GW2: 125lbs (~57kg)
GW3: 115lbs (~52kg)
UGW: 110lbs (~50kg)
Posts tagged "skinny"

I am back - weighing the same I did when I was active last time but more willing to pick up where I left off
and own this *. I started at my new school in the end of August and it’s been all crazy and hectic ever since. It’s all so much work and so stressful. At the beginning I just didn’t have the energy for anything. Not for exercising and not for eating. So I didn’t lose any more weight but also didn’t gain that much (got around a pound on and off but that’s how it goes anyway).

Now I have finally come back to my senses. I don’t do much besides study nowadays and since my days are filled with lectures and working on the projects the days just fly by. And I just realized that this is the best opportunity I’m going to get. I live by myself - I can control what I’ve got in my fridge and cupboard. Also the days are passing so fast that the impatient feeling of “I want to lose all the weight right now” can’t even come to me before I’ve lost the weight.

So now I’ve been sporting myself for another round - or just for finally crossing the finishing line. I’m back and this time I’m not gonna stop before I’m done.

I really hope you guys are still with me! I need you! :) 

Also continuing with the weight loss challenge from where I left off

Day 19 - When was the last time you ate fast food?

On the 4th of October. It was a crazy student party night and somehow the fast food usually comes with those. That was the last time I was actually out and partying properly as well. Funny how it’s already over a month ago since there seems to be these big parties every other day. 


Height: 5’5” (165.5cm)
HW: 147lbs (67kg)
LW: 125.5lbs (57kg)
CW:  131.5lbs (59.5kg)

So as I promised in my opening post here is my day 1 (50).

I already mentioned that I had the worst weekend of my diet so far. It’s not that I haven’t eaten what I’ve considered too much or too crappy on a few occasions before or that I would’ve completely binged this weekend. So it’s not about this weekend having been the ultimate failure when it comes to sticking to my food plan more like about the mental aspects of my lifestyle change. 
The whole drama went off on Saturday after one of the most exhausting and depressing days at work. When I got home I had to host a birthday get-together for my mum, and yes, did eat a bit more than I had planned in advance. But I could’ve lived through that had I not felt so unstable, hysterical even. So when my guests had left and I was all by myself I went to the cupboard, ate a bit more, purged for the first time in years and had a complete mental breakdown (and I’m not exaggerating when I’m telling you that it wasn’t a pretty sight and I probably would’ve needed some sort of sedative).
On Sunday after a good night’s sleep (which I had considering that I went to bed right after my hysterics) I still felt weary, a bit repentant but a whole lot better.

So now that Monday has gone quite well I’m ready to put the weekend behind me and get back on track.

I ate pretty nicely today. Because of my weekend binge being more of a carb explosion than filled with calories I’m having a low-carb week for now. I was on a VLCD for a bit too long and it still gives me trouble to get enough calories to get my body back from starvation mode and my metabolism running as smoothly as ever. Now for this week I’m trying to trick my mind in letting me get around 1000-1200 kcal a day by not eating any carb-y foods but allowing myself to eat more fruits, veggies, eggs and dairy (I’m vegetarian so no meat or fish for me). With the low-carb restriction my mind still feels like it’s having a control over something and I can more easily eat up the needed amount of calories that my ED-ish mind would never allow. 

Now I’m starting to sound really unhealthy… I don’t intend to and I’d like to emphasize that I want to get fit in the healthiest way possible which is why I’m trying to trick my potential-ED brain and actually go at it the way my common sense advises me to.

So the food today (not going to announce calories):
Breakfast: Yoghurt, green tea
Lunch:  Pineapple and peach “fruit salad” with sunflower seeds and crushed almonds, coffee
Dinner:  Cooked cauliflower and broccoli, carrot casserole and a small soy fillet
-Dessert: Finnish squeaky cheese with vanilla sauce and jam
After workout snack: Curd cheese with berry soup 
And naturally loads of water!

Workout today:
Morning walk 1km (~0,62 miles)
Walk  4km (~2,5miles)
Run 4,5km (~2,8miles)
And some random jumping, bodyweight exercising, stretching and dancing throughout the day

So this was my day one. I hope you’re not disappointed with how my diet actually is (seeing as this is the first post about my day!) and also that you took the time to read this :) It might have turned out to be more of a rant especially in the beginning but I tried to emphasize the important points :D

Age: 19

Height: 5’ 5” (165.5cm)

Weight: ~131.5lbs (~59.5kg)

BMI: 21.72

Dress Size: 
Top: US: 4/6 UK: 6/8 Europe: 34/36 (except for Italy) 
Bottom: US: 6/8 UK 8/10 Europe: 36/38 

Highest Weight: 147lbs (67kg)

Lowest Weight: 125.5lbs (~57kg)

Goal Weight: 110lbs (~50kg)

Favorite Diet Food: Tofu, my favorite food in general.

Favorite Binge Food: Cookies and sweet pastries give me the most trouble.

Favorite Exercise: Nordic walking, I’ll do a proper post about it later!

Thinspo: I like to observe people in real life. On the Internet it’s mostly tumblr thinspo.

Where Do You Slip Up: When I have to eat with other people. It’s harder to stick to the plan.

When Did It Start: I’ve been dieting throughout my teenage life every now and then. This time I started on May 14th.

Does Anyone Know: My mum knows I’m dieting just not the extent of it. I guess my brother should have noticed something so I assume he knows but doesn’t feel like mentioning it.

Do You Want Help: Just some moral support for my cause would be cool. But I’m doing just fine by myself.

How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day: Depends which phase I’m in. During my VLCD (very low calorie diet) weeks I’m aiming for 500kcal a day. Other phases I don’t count too closely but probably 1000-1200kcal a day?

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror: Potential and now that I’ve gotten a good start I’m starting to see progress. But ofcourse there are always things to improve.

Are You In A Relationship: Not officially no but I probably can’t say I’m all free to do whatever I like either. :D It’s complicated.

Are You The Fat Or Thin One Out Of Your Friends: About the medium sized one.

Are You Depressed: Sometimes. I’m actually officially diagnosed with the manic-depressive disorder. Or more nicely put bipolar disorder :D

Ever Tried To Commit Suicide: I’ve planned it many times quite accurately but have never gone through with it. It’s always been more like a way to reassure myself when things have been really bad that there’s always that one last way out. 

Ever Been To A Psychologist: Yeah, because of my disorder I’ve been going every week or every two weeks for years now. And gone to a doctor’s checkup every now and then aswell. Just to make sure I’m coping :P

I’m finally announcing my blog opened.

It’s the 50th day of my diet and the first one for my thinspo blog. I have been really excited about this blog for the whole of June and have had to hold myself back from starting in advance :D
The reason I didn’t start before was to have something new and inspiring even after 7 weeks of my struggle. I started on the 14th of May and went the first weeks with the help of the enthusiasm you always have at the start. In the beginning of June I started keeping a weigh-in calendar where I mark my morning and evening weight every day (might seem a bit neurotic but it actually helps me to keep focused). And now it’s time to find some new inspiration in the form of sharing the secrets of my lifestyle and diet here in tumblr!
Ofcourse I’ll be posting as much thinspo and fitspo as tumblr allows me to but I’m also writing about my progress, difficulties and the joys and sorrows of my journey.

I’ll start with the day 1 (50) post this evening and tell you how (and if) I recovered from the worst weekend of my diet.
And for the record I’ve already lost around 16lbs (7-8kg) so I really mean business here. ;)

Tomorrow after seven weeks of practising the new healthier lifestyle it’s finally time for me to launch my very own thinspo(/fitspo)-blog. 

Now I just wanted to warn you guys that you’ll be seeing a lot of me in the future!
And I thought it’d be alright to start looking for people to share my ups and downs with a day before the official opening :)
So FOLLOW FOR FOLLOW and some follows for reblogs aswell, I need more thinspo and fitspo on my dash!